Infertility is not always a forever thing. For example, my friend, is able to have children, but her husband has “slow swimmers” so conceiving without help was near impossible. They were classed as infertile. Three courses of IVF and two heart breaking miscarriages later, she is finally expecting her first baby. I am over the moon for her.
My other friend has tried and tried for a baby, but to no avail. Both she and her husband have had loads of tests but the doctors can’t find any particular reason why they can’t conceive. It seems that IVF will be on the cards for them too, but they know it might and could happen naturally.
With my infertility, I know for certain that I will never, ever be able to have a baby, and this is strangely quite comforting. I will never have to decide whether to pump my body with hormones in the hope that one day it might happen for me. I will never have to go through the heart ache of having miscarriage after miscarriage. Sex will stay fun, rather than become a chore.
I do still have my ovaries, so we COULD use a surrogate, but this all seems a bit emotionally and physically complicated. Although we have thought about it, it doesn’t sit comfortably with either of us.
When I came home from the hospital after my hysterectomy, I turned straight to the internet for advice. I wanted someone to tell me they were in my shoes and they had got through it. I quickly found that typing “infertility” into google often brought up hopeful pages of IVF treatments and quick fix diet plans or routines. Having a hysterectomy, it seemed, was something older people had to deal with. Eventually though, I found my support in the forums of the hysterectomy association website. On this website, I met some wonderful ladies, some with children, some without, but all who knew what it was like to be completely infertile.