Since I left university my husband and I were always saving for our next big adventure. We spent most of our twenties travelling the world or saving up to do it all again. Whilst our friends were getting morgages and climbing their career ladder, we were working in different parts of the world and broadening our horizons.
It was a good decade for us, and it brought us closer together as a couple. We got married, just the two of us in New Zealand, and was looking forward to coming back to the UK to start our own little family. We even talked about emigrating to Canada, and that is still something we would both like to do.
When I had my hysterectomy, it was obviously a massive blow. It has always been an ambition of mine to have children and now I know that will never happen. I have spent the last two years pondering about adoption and I still can’t make my mind up about it. Should we, shouldn’t we? It is like a permanent imprint in my brain that won’t go away.
After discussing things with G the other day, he said something that struck a chord with me. He said no matter what we do, we will have a full life, but it will be full in a different way. There isn’t a right or wrong path to choose, because both will be fullfilling if we decide to live it that way.
He also pointed out to me that I am always waiting for something to happen instead of just living. Like at the moment, I am waiting to start a new job in January, and all my sentences begin with “When I start my job I’ll be able to ……..”
G tells me stop thinking of life in this way, because life is happening now, this is it! I am so used to saving for trips, waiting to get married or waiting for my dreaded fibroids to be removed that I have become used to that way of thinking. He also says that we both spend too long procrastinating about life instead of just getting on with it. Which brought us back to the question of adoption.
So, to sum up, I am going to stop waiting for life to happen tomorrow, and live it today. I am not going to wait for the best time to start that new hobby, or get that make over, I am going to do it now. As for adoption, who knows? What will be, will be. Just live and see what happens!