The Top 5 comments people say when they discover you can’t have children

1. You can always adopt!

2. Oh that’s a shame, you’d be a great mum.

3. At least you get to lie in.

4. Maybe you could use a surrogate, have you frozen your eggs?

5. You’re the lucky one, they are hard work you know.

I’ve been on many forums and facebook pages, and a lot of people are truly offended and upset by these comments. I can understand why, especially if you are having a bad day. I realise though, that people are probably quite shocked by my childlessness, and when they first find out, they feel quite awkward. They say the first thing that comes into their head, not knowing that I have heard it a million times before. They are often not childless themselves so can not grasp the enormity of the situation.

For instance, I was talking to my dad the other day about how Christmas is quite emotional for my husband and I, and he replied sympathetically:
“Ahhhh are you still upset about that?”

I know he didn’t mean any harm by it, but it brought it home to me, that it must be impossible to know how childlessness feels unless you are going through it.

I have decided to shrug off every thoughtless comment, because if my life had taken a different turn, I could have been the one making them.

What are your top 5?

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3 thoughts on “The Top 5 comments people say when they discover you can’t have children

  1. Yes, that’s one I am told a lot. So, what is the reason? My spiritual side of me would agree with that comment. I have had so many medical problems, and now I can’t reproduce, there must be some reason I am here. That’s what also makes me think I should adopt. That, might be my reason.

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