Well, we’ve got through Christmas without any tears. Although, I did cry at a Simpsons episode. The one where Bart steals a video game and Marge is very disappointed in him. I know it’s daft to cry at the Simpsons, but the mother son theme just plucked at my sensitive bone. The old episodes are the best.
We had a nice Christmas, just the husband and I. We got up quite late, had alcohol for breakfast (only at Christmas do we do this, may I add) put the chicken in the oven, and then went down the pub for quick pint. I was feeling squiffy by 1 O’ clock, and I still had the veg to look after! G did the chicken and gravey and I made the veg. Proper team work. We did a good job of it too. G commented that if we had children, he wouldn’t get half as much pressies off his mum and he would have to act like a grown up. I was pleased he was looking on the bright side on Christmas day.
My friend ( who also can’t have children) sent me a Christmas email, and in it she told me she had starting dating a new fella. She was very excited about it, but wondered when would be the best time to tell him she was infertile. It’s an awkward one this. Talking about children is not a top priority during the early days of dating, but at the same time, I think it’s important to mention it before things begin to get more serious.
I really feel for the both of them. She’s going to feel very awkward bringing up the subject of children. When should she tell him? Should she wait until they both have stronger feelings for each other? That way, there is more of a chance he will stay with her. Or, should she tell him before things get heavy, so if he does break up with her, she won’t feel so hurt and they wouldn’t have wasted any time on each other.
If he does want children in the future, it will make him feel terrible calling it all off. Like she’s just some sort of baby factory for him. But, I suppose, why should he continue in a relationship with someone who can’t have children, if he really wants them? It’s such a difficult situation, I am pleased I don’t have to make these decisions. I also realise that it’s none of my business and I do sound like a nosey parker, having a good gossip at someone elses dilemma. However, I am simply empathising with her and wonder what others think. G always tells me I should turn my empathy gauge down to a 3, it’ll get me into trouble one day.
I am so grateful that I have been with G since university and we are very much in love:
(WARNING sick bucket may be required here)…
G really did want children, and after my hysterectomy he suffered greatly, we both did. I gave him the option to leave me, but he said he wouldn’t want children with anyone else. He has me, and that’s what matters. I am so lucky to have him in my life, and when the baby blues appear, I just have to think about all the great times we’ve had together and that makes me feel better.
A recent observation
There are so many people who want children and infertilty isn’t always the reason why they can’t have them. Take my brother for example; he wants children, but hasn’t met that special person to have them with. My step sister wants children, but she is a lesbian so for obvious reasons she can’t have them either. In lots of ways I am the lucky one, I have found the one and I am happy with my choice.
I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and you will have a great new year!