I was advised today (from someone who didn’t know I couldn’t have children), not to have kids because life is so much simpler without them. She was telling me about her son, and the trouble he gets himself into at school. I know she was speaking in a light hearted jokey way, but it does bother me that it is probably quite true.
My husdand and I were discussing adoption yesterday and he said that we always wait too long to put things into action. He said it will never be a perfect time to adopt, just like it’s never the perfect time to have your own children. I am having a few doubts though, about going along the adoption route and I explained this to G.
What if we adopt and we don’t manage to bond with the child? (As a teacher, I know that I don’t like the company of all children and some really do just grind my gears. At least I’m honest).
What if we crave for the childless life we once had and regret our decision to adopt? We won’t know if it’s right for us until we try it, but then it’ll be too late.
What if one of us can’t cope with the demands of a child?
What if the child doesn’t like us? How do the adoption agencies match couples to children?
Are these doubts normal, or are they a sure sign that it wouldn’t be a good idea?
On the other hand I always have little day dreams about sitting with a child on the sofa when they’re all cosy and snug in their dressing gown and I’m reading them a bedtime story. I’m envious of mothers who have a little hand to hold when they are walking down the road and when they have proud little moments with their child.
But it scares me that having a child is so full on, every day, 24 hours a day for the rest of my life, well at least up until they’re 18. People don’t need to tell me how hard it is, I totally beileve them!
So when the lady advised me not to have children I knew what she meant and wondered if I would be up to the most difficult job in the world.