Mother’s Day

I’m in a support group on facebook for people who are childless. At the moment the hot topic is mother’s day, and how upsetting it is for everyone with fertility issues. I am quite lucky because don’t feel affected ( or is it effected? I always get these words muddled) by this. I don’t feel upset about mother’s day because I just think about my own mum, and this makes me smile. I have a really good relationship with her, but I know that there will come a time when she is no longer around. For me, it will be then that mother’s day will be difficult to bear.

I am actually thinking of leaving the facebook group because everytime I read my news feeds, there are ladies in distress, and it saddens me. The women on there are lovely people, and I have written to a few, but now I want to look to the future positively, not wallow in self pity that I’ll never be a mum. Yes, it is sad, but it’s what life has thrown at me so I just have to get on with it. I don’t want the burden of infertility to be the focus of my life.

Just writing this down makes me feel like I have turned a corner in my mental well being. It was only a year ago when I couldn’t talk to anyone about my hysterectomy without breaking down. I do still get emotional, but I have definitely come to terms with it now.

I am still not sure about the “what now” element of my blog, but as the past few weeks have shown, anything can happen. For now, I am just hoping that my cysts are benign and I have a clean bill of health.


6 thoughts on “Mother’s Day

  1. I know exactly what you mean about the Mother’s Day thing. This time last year I found it so incredibly difficult but this year I am just so grateful to my lovely Mum who has helped me through another tough year healthwise that I am looking forward to saying ‘thank you’ to her. I too am looking forward to moving on with my life and don’t want to dwell too much on what could have been etc as you can’t change what’s happened. That’s the thing with hysterectomy, it’s so final that you almost have to move forward from it in order to gain your sanity back! Don’t get me wrong, I have days when I’m wobbly about things and an insensitive thoraway comment can leave me upset but those days are getting less and less now. I think if you have further health challenges like I have this last year with the endometriosis and the cysts, you just want to focus on being well and enjoying life!

    I am part of an online support group called Gateway Women for women who are childelss by circumstance. I’ve only been a part of it for a short time but it’s a wonderful place where women support each other through the tough days but who primarily focus on their ‘Plan B’ and moving forward in life. It’s a very positive place to be!

    I hope your CT comes back ok and that you get a clean bill of health and can focus on moving forward. Sorry for the essay like reply, I got a bit carried away with myself I think! Take care x

    • Hi Janey!
      I will have a look at the website you mentioned. It sounds like it would be more up my street.
      I am still waiting for news on my CT scan, but I’m hoping that no news is good news at the moment. It’s been a few days now and I haven’t had a phone call from the doctor. I might be counting my chickens before they’ve hatched though.
      My husband once said he thought that writing a blog about my infertility was dwelling on our circumstances. I can understand what he means, but for me it writing things down really helps and I told him he shouldn’t knock it until he’s tried it! He’s more of a talker than a writer I think.
      Have a lovely mother’s day!

      • Hopefully the fact you’ve had no phone call yet is a positive sign. I am crossing my fingers for you that all will be well! Definitely check out the website, I have found it amazing and if you do decide to join I will see you over there! I think talking and writing about things is so helpful. You have to address things and work through them before you can move on and writing is such a good way to do that I think. Plus it’s been great for all your followers to be able to connect with you and know there is somebody else out there who gets what we are all going through in our own ways. I think it’s very brave to start a blog! You have a lovely Mother’s Day too! X

  2. This will be my first mother’s day without my uterus and I told my husband that I think that we should buy something for ourselves on mother’s day and father’s day. We wanted children, but sometimes things happen in our lives that don’t make it possible. We are puppy parents, we can celebrate that. Mother’s day will also be a little more special to me this year, because my mom has been such a big help and wonderful support to me. She has stayed with me since my surgery and she will continue to stay with me throughout chemo, she certainly deserves the best gift I can give her (I’ve got some thinking to do on that one!!).

    I am spending you positive thoughts on your cysts and that they come back benign. I hope you hear soon, I know waiting is the hardest part! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

    • Hi again!
      How are you? I hope you are still recovering well.
      I would love to be a puppy parent, and will definitely get a dog once we aren’t living in a rented property!
      When does your chemo start? I hope they give you enough time to get over the op before they start it.
      Yes, waiting is hard. My husband called me at work today to say someone with our area code had called, but he wasn’t quick enough to answer the phone. He tried to call them back, but they were constantly engaged. Since then, my stomach was in knots thinking it was the hospital. He eventually got through to the mystery caller and it was just a wrong number. All that worrying for nothing. I want to know my results, but don’t at the same time. It’s weird.
      Take care, stay warm, eat chocolate, have lots of hugs, listen to happy music and sleep as much as you want. Xxx

      • I’m doing pretty good, I’m still tired and sore, but I’m taking it easy and am recovering nicely.

        Puppies are wonderful. I have a little cocker spaniel, she’s a great companion and loves to cuddle!

        I’m not sure when chemo starts, but am going to see the oncologist next Wednesday, so I guess I will find out my plan/schedule at the appointment.

        I hope they call you soon with excellent results. Have a great weekend!

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