I’m in a support group on facebook for people who are childless. At the moment the hot topic is mother’s day, and how upsetting it is for everyone with fertility issues. I am quite lucky because don’t feel affected ( or is it effected? I always get these words muddled) by this. I don’t feel upset about mother’s day because I just think about my own mum, and this makes me smile. I have a really good relationship with her, but I know that there will come a time when she is no longer around. For me, it will be then that mother’s day will be difficult to bear.
I am actually thinking of leaving the facebook group because everytime I read my news feeds, there are ladies in distress, and it saddens me. The women on there are lovely people, and I have written to a few, but now I want to look to the future positively, not wallow in self pity that I’ll never be a mum. Yes, it is sad, but it’s what life has thrown at me so I just have to get on with it. I don’t want the burden of infertility to be the focus of my life.
Just writing this down makes me feel like I have turned a corner in my mental well being. It was only a year ago when I couldn’t talk to anyone about my hysterectomy without breaking down. I do still get emotional, but I have definitely come to terms with it now.
I am still not sure about the “what now” element of my blog, but as the past few weeks have shown, anything can happen. For now, I am just hoping that my cysts are benign and I have a clean bill of health.