Back to work? I don’t think so.

I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m worried about returning to work. Well, actually I’m worried about telling the school that I need more time off. I have a week left before I have had the recommened six weeks, but the way I feel at the moment, I need another six! Is this normal?

So far I can:

Potter around the house and do gentle house work such as washing up, vacuuming and dusting.

Make evening meals.

Walk for about 20-30 mins at a slow pace.

I can’t yet:

Stand up perfectly straight for the whole day.

Lift anything or do anything strenuous like change the bed covers.

Run

Jump

Have a pain free day (the giant is still swinging).

Also, at the end of the day I have swelly belly and I just feel really fragile. I’m definitely not fit enough to be teaching a lively class of 8 year olds.

The thing is though, I’m only on a fixed term contract until July so I feel really terrible that I have had to have time off when they have only employed me for such a short period of time. There is a permanent postion at the school in September, and I would love to stay there, but after all this time off I feel I haven’t made the best impression. Don’t get me wrong, the school have been brilliant and are very supportive, but I want to repay them by returning to work as quicky as possible.

My brain tells me to stop being so stupid, and to have as much time off as I need. This would be the advice I would give to any other person in my position, but I just feel like such a nuisance. Luckily, the Headteacher managed to find someone to take my class at short notice, and I have spoken to her and she is very happy to be taking over my role temporarily. However, I’m not sure how long she can stay and the children this year have already had 3 different teachers as it is.

I know I can’t help it, and I didn’t ask to have these stupid cysts, but I just hate letting people down. I’m dreading calling work next week, and to be honest if this horrible stabbing pain doesn’t disappear I’m not sure when I will ever be ready to go back to work.

On a positive note, I did some really gentle yoga today and it felt good. Even just standing in mountain pose felt like a stretch, which confirmed the fact that I haven’t been standing straight for a while. I’m going to do a little bit every day.

Update

I called the school yesterday and told them I won’t be returning to work until after half term. I didn’t like doing it, but there is just no way I can go back yet. So I’ve effectively got another 3 weeks off. I know it will go super fast, I just hope it’ll be enough time.

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