This weekend G and I had a lovely mini break at the seaside. We had fun, but it was also quite tough for us because we were bombarded with idyllic scenes of families enjoying quality time together. There were sandcastles being built, cute babies being dunked in the sea for the first time, dads playing cricket with their sons, mothers lovingly sharing homemade picnics and grand parents teaching the little un’s how to catch crabs. You name it, we saw it. It was just perfect, for those with a family. On the other hand, for us, it just made us feel odd and out of place. We did, however, manage to have a few ice-creams and put on a brave face for one another.
When tear jerker times happen like this weekend, I have to remind myself of all the good things childlessness can bring, and keep those in the front of my mind for a while. I know there are lots of positive aspects to being childless, so here are just a few to make me feel a little better.
1. Freedom in all it’s glory!
Ok, so I’m not totally free because I have husband, so there are some compromises. But, WE are free to do more or less what ever we want. So lets break this down a little:
We are free to:
Come and go as we please, without the need for baby sitters.
Go to bed late without thinking about children bouncing all over us at 5.00am
Eat when we want and what we want.
Act irresponsibly if the mood takes us.
Have unsensored conversations.
Have sex where and when we want (in the house, not in the neighbours back yard! We’ve got some decorum).
Leave the washing up until the day after, without feeling guilty that the child will think they live in squalor and pick up bad habits.
Live and work abroad without thinking whether the move will disrupt schooling (which is topical for us at the moment because my hubby has a telephone interview for a job in the Caribbean tonight! Excited and scared, more talks on the matter are needed I think).
2. My vagina will not stretch to the size of a large bucket.
This positive might not be in anyone elses top 5, but it’s in mine.
3. We have time to pursue our own interests and think about reaching our own potentials.
Whether it be a hobby, or something serious like a change of career, the only thing that might stop us is money. A lot of parents I know, live through their children, and encourage them to achieve the things that they didn’t get around to. Having children can put hobbies on the back burner for a while!
4. We won’t be burdened with worry about our child for the rest of our life.
Being in and out of hospital as a youngster, I can’t even imagine the amount of worry I have caused my mum and dad. When I was about three years old I used to sing “ Like a burden” to the tune of Madonna’s “Like a virgin.” My dad used to say “Yeah, you’re not bloody wrong there!” In a loving way of course!
5. My relationship with my husband will stay about us.
We have time to be a couple without any distractions. I have read that studies show, married childless couples are a lot happier than those who have children. I think once a child comes along the affection shifts and the needs of the child becomes greater than the needs of the marriage. I bet it’s really hard actually, to balance the two.
So that’s my top five. What would be yours?