I started this blog on the 21st September 2012. I had met a girl in the pub who had just found out she was pregnant and as usual I had to put on a happy front, when deep down I felt really sad. I decided that I needed somewhere to be allowed to express my feelings openly, and that was how this blog was born.
Nearly a year on I feel like I have healed a great deal and I no longer cry when talking about my infertility. I have come to terms with my childlessness and I am on the verge of beginning a new chapter in my life. Back in April things could have turned out so differently. If my ovarian cysts had been cancerous I would now be going through chemotherapy and have a life full of hospital visits and sickness. I think about that everyday, and I know that I never want to be that scared again. I am grateful beyond words that that I am healthy and happy.
From next week we will be travelling around the UK seeing my friends and family before we head off to the Caribbean. I feel ready to move on to my plan B and although the move isn’t forever, it will open new doors, I will meet new people and it will give me a sense of achievement. In two years time, when we return to the UK, we may feel ready to begin the adoption process. I am still a little hopeful I will become a mother one day, but I am no longer obsessed by it.
I would like to thank all those who have read my blog and those who have supported me through their thoughful and empathetic comments. I am not a writer by any means so it meant a lot that people were following me and wishing me well. I will shortly be starting a new blog about our Caribbean life for my friends and family to follow, but as I want to stay anonymous here, I will not be providing a link.
It’s time now say goodbye to this blog because I’ve finally found my “what now?” Good bye, good luck and I hope you will soon find yours:) xx